No sleep.

The cycle continues.

I was flying high from the chemicals in my brain

and now the paranoia grows.

It feeds off the dark and my life feels empty.

This isn’t real. I’m in a movie staring me.

Me?

Am I real?

My eyes are heavy but my brain won’t turn off.

The racing thoughts go around and around.

The loss was epic.

The fear is wonderful.

Can I feel wonderful fear?

It’s what tells me I’m human.

The pros outweigh the cons for now.

And, I’m lost.

I’m lost on a Mary-go-round.

My thoughts scream.

Love!

I just want love.

Maybe that would put me back together.

But, I’m too broken. Too shattered.

Does anybody feel like me?

Was I ever truly happy, or is emotion just an illusion?

Is life an illusion?

Am I an illusion?

I try to argue with these delusions but they shout louder than ever before.

I trade a week of euphoria for two weeks in a low.

And in a low, I don’t know where to go.

I want to hide from the world. No one can see me like this.

Self medication. What will that do?

I can’t be perfect!

Let me take off my mask and show you the real me. But, when I do, will you run?

Will you call me a lost cause?

Maybe it’s better to hide.

Does anybody hear me? Does anybody care?

Please, don’t lecture me.

Just sit with me while I feel the illusion of emotions so intense.

Don’t let me drown in my mind.

No sleep.

The cycle continues.

Bipolar.

Jesus<3MGP

#PoetryforJesus