Ana,
you’re a monster!
You’ve taken so much from me.
You said you were my friend,
said you would help me be beautiful, thin, happy, and feel better about myself.
You started teaching me how to diet, to cut out certain things.
Then you taught me how to count calories.
Soon, 1500 was too much.
You made me fearful of bread and carbs.
Told me it was all water weight.
You started having me obsess about the number on the scale till once a day wasn’t enough.
I had to see the number five times a day.
Then 1200 was too many calories.
So you had me cut out pop, sweets, coffee, milk.
Even popcorn.
Everyone says how great I look.
Everyone wants to know my secret.
You said I would have control of my life because I could control my weight.
You told me I wasn’t that sick.
You told me I was still very overweight.
Then 1000 was too much.
Shaky, light headed, cold, and tired.
I miss food!
I miss enjoying food!
I don’t want to know how many calories cheese has anymore, or eggs, or bread, or anything!
I want my life back!
It seems I surrendered to you to make me pretty,
but now you have all the control.
Because of you,
my weight is never good enough.
I need to lose more.
I’ll never be enough for you.
So, watch me, Ana.
Watch me take back my life!
Watch me love myself.
I will fight you, Ana!
I am a queen in my father’s kingdom!
I am fearfully and wonderfully made and you can’t take that from me!
Sure, you have the upper hand right now-
but watch out!
I will get better and break free from you!
You will not win!
Because, I’ve already won!

Jesus<3MGP